Things I'm thankful for...
With the holidays moving quickly through, I'm trying to be thankful of what I have:
gorgeous daughter
family who love me
great friends
the support of my mom
encouragement to write (you know who you are... LOL)
a manner of supporting myself that, while not really *prosperous*, is adequate and allows me to be home with my munchkin
a decent place to live
this time of the year (I love it from October through January)
having my life back in my hands
That last one was a doosey.
I have a friend who has called a couple times in the last week. She asked if I was still dating that really great guy I met in July. I explained that he's got his own stuff to deal with now and so we've gone our own separate ways but that its fine -- it was never meant to be serious or long-term. She said how sad she was about it and I reminded her that he wants different things... I still want another baby or two. He's had a vasectomy and has two teenagers and has no desire to date anyone with little kids. My friend said, "Well, they all say they don't want kids, but that's not what they really mean." Huh?
People will tell you who they are, if you only listen. I'm sure its not the exclusive domain of women, but it seems to be more of an issue for us... why in the world do women think that men don't know what they're talking about when they say they want or don't want something?
She's dating a really great guy who is not only commitment phobic, but has stated emphatically he never wants to have kids. She's my age and desperately wants children. And I think she'll get them... well, at least one.
She's sure that when it does happen (she swears she's not going to do anything devious, but that she just feels it coming--afterall, suprises do happen) that he'll, of course, be upset in the beginning but then he'll come around.
Maybe he will.
But why do we do this? Why put ourselves in the situation where we're hoping for a miracle of getting what we want with someone who's equally hoping it'll never happen?
I've already *done* the whole "guy with a vasectomy and two teens" thing. I have NO desire to go back there. The guy I was dating was like a life-saver when Bill moved out. He reminded me that smart, attractive, wonderful, evolved men WILL be there for me. That I'm not trash. I'm not disposable. I have value and deserve to be valued. That was a HUGE gift. What more could a girl want?
She kept saying, "Well, maybe you'll meet someone else..." Finally, I put my foot down.
I'm moving in May, back to my home state of Washington. We'll be moving back to my childhood home near or in Vancouver, WA, in the southwest of the state, just across from Portland. My mom, daughter and I will be going. I'm taking the cat, but Bill's keeping the dog.
I plan to live there for about a year and then I'm moving to Scotland. I've already started laying the groundwork of what I'll be doing there for a career and I'm really excited. I've wanted to live in Europe for about the last 10 years and never thought I'd be able to because Bill refused to do it. Now, I can!
My girlfriend kept saying, "Well, maybe you'll meet a guy before you move to WA," or "maybe you'll meet a guy before you move to Scotland and then you won't want to go..."
NO!
NO!
No! I won't do it. I refuse. Any guy I date between here and Scotland is just for fun and/or friendship. I'm NOT giving my power away again to ANYONE.
I finally have my life back in my own hands. There is no one who has veto power, anymore, to interfere with my dreams. Now, as long as its a healthy decision that will be save for my daughter, I can do what *I* want. And I'm not giving that up for any man.
And for that, I am thankful.
gorgeous daughter
family who love me
great friends
the support of my mom
encouragement to write (you know who you are... LOL)
a manner of supporting myself that, while not really *prosperous*, is adequate and allows me to be home with my munchkin
a decent place to live
this time of the year (I love it from October through January)
having my life back in my hands
That last one was a doosey.
I have a friend who has called a couple times in the last week. She asked if I was still dating that really great guy I met in July. I explained that he's got his own stuff to deal with now and so we've gone our own separate ways but that its fine -- it was never meant to be serious or long-term. She said how sad she was about it and I reminded her that he wants different things... I still want another baby or two. He's had a vasectomy and has two teenagers and has no desire to date anyone with little kids. My friend said, "Well, they all say they don't want kids, but that's not what they really mean." Huh?
People will tell you who they are, if you only listen. I'm sure its not the exclusive domain of women, but it seems to be more of an issue for us... why in the world do women think that men don't know what they're talking about when they say they want or don't want something?
She's dating a really great guy who is not only commitment phobic, but has stated emphatically he never wants to have kids. She's my age and desperately wants children. And I think she'll get them... well, at least one.
She's sure that when it does happen (she swears she's not going to do anything devious, but that she just feels it coming--afterall, suprises do happen) that he'll, of course, be upset in the beginning but then he'll come around.
Maybe he will.
But why do we do this? Why put ourselves in the situation where we're hoping for a miracle of getting what we want with someone who's equally hoping it'll never happen?
I've already *done* the whole "guy with a vasectomy and two teens" thing. I have NO desire to go back there. The guy I was dating was like a life-saver when Bill moved out. He reminded me that smart, attractive, wonderful, evolved men WILL be there for me. That I'm not trash. I'm not disposable. I have value and deserve to be valued. That was a HUGE gift. What more could a girl want?
She kept saying, "Well, maybe you'll meet someone else..." Finally, I put my foot down.
I'm moving in May, back to my home state of Washington. We'll be moving back to my childhood home near or in Vancouver, WA, in the southwest of the state, just across from Portland. My mom, daughter and I will be going. I'm taking the cat, but Bill's keeping the dog.
I plan to live there for about a year and then I'm moving to Scotland. I've already started laying the groundwork of what I'll be doing there for a career and I'm really excited. I've wanted to live in Europe for about the last 10 years and never thought I'd be able to because Bill refused to do it. Now, I can!
My girlfriend kept saying, "Well, maybe you'll meet a guy before you move to WA," or "maybe you'll meet a guy before you move to Scotland and then you won't want to go..."
NO!
NO!
No! I won't do it. I refuse. Any guy I date between here and Scotland is just for fun and/or friendship. I'm NOT giving my power away again to ANYONE.
I finally have my life back in my own hands. There is no one who has veto power, anymore, to interfere with my dreams. Now, as long as its a healthy decision that will be save for my daughter, I can do what *I* want. And I'm not giving that up for any man.
And for that, I am thankful.
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