MEN!
I don't know if Edie's teething or what, but yesterday she was really hard on me.
Even having help yesterday, I still feel like I spent nearly the whole day with her in arms. I ate dinner with her standing at my knee screaming. Finally, by bed time, she was overly tired and upset and wouldn't go to sleep so after 40 minutes of nursing a wide awake baby in bed, I started crying. (I desperately needed her to go to sleep so I could have some time to recharge *my* batteries.)
Then my husband started in with, "I'm sorry you don't enjoy her..." He continued by saying that all he hears is me complaining about her and he kept going until I was so mad I had to leave the bedroom before I committed homocide while nursing a 14 month old.
When I went back to bed, I couldn't speak to him, I was still so mad. He apologized and tried rubbing my back and being nice. I was seething. Then Edie (obviously picking up on all this) still wouldn't go to sleep and I hit the wall with nursing and took back my boob and refused to give it to her. She started screaming and flailing and so I just held her as closely as I could without completely restraining her and that went on for about 20 minutes.
Finally, exhausted, she started to have moments of breaks in her screaming where she almost looked like she was going to fall asleep, only to remember that she was screaming and would start again for a few minutes. Eventually, she calmed down and was lying down whimpering and I gave her my breast again. We all finally got to sleep sometime after midnight.
I didn't want him to go to work without us making up (ya know, what if he had a wreck or something and anger was the last thing we spoke to each other... anyway) even this morning, he wouldn't cut me much slack. He tried telling me that the "breaks" I get when he's home "watching" her while I try to pound out an email should count toward his "helping."
I'm sorry, but why is it that when *I* take care of her, its me being her mother, but when he "watches" her, its *helping*??? And am I honestly supposed to count the three minutes between interruptions when I then have to wrestle the keyboard away from the baby and it takes 20 minutes to write a 3 minute-long email as "me-time"???
AUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!
When she was between 4-6 months old, we had her in the routine of going to bed at 8pm and she actually slept until 10 or so when I officially came to bed. It still took me 30-60 minutes to get her asleep, but then, nearly every night, I had about an hour to an hour & a half where I could do whatever I wanted. I could just sit alone in my own space for a few minutes. Then we went camping and screwed up her routine and she's never gotten back into it. I'm getting NO time for myself, unless I cut it out of my sleep time (like now.)
I know that one of the 8 principles of Attachment Parenting is BALANCE. How do you get it with a high needs baby? How do you get it when you can't hardly ever get away?
Last night, one of us needed to go to the store. Edie was screaming and seemed like she was in pain (again, possibly teething) and I finally told Bill that I was NOT dragging the baby out when she obviously was not feeling well. He suggested I go and he'd stay home with her. I refused to leave and made him go. How can I relax when I'm gone, knowing she's here screaming and miserable? How can I not stay and offer her my breast and cuddle down in bed with her and give her comfort? Of course, she did fall asleep for just a few minutes which made the rest of the night worse... but how can I leave and have "me time" when she's upset? And since when does "me time" consist of running errands???
"I watched her while you cooked dinner!" Ya, once again... "me time" doesn't mean feeding the big people instead of the baby. "Me time" doesn't mean cleaning the house (although it could if it meant having time alone in my head while doing something that makes me feel good when its done... but you know what I mean.)
"Me time" for Bill is going fishing. He gets to LEAVE the HOUSE ALONE, knowing the baby is well cared for and has her comfort within reach. "Me time" for Bill doesn't include chores or errands or feeding other people. So, on what planet is he suggesting that I'm getting plenty of "me time" because he spent five minutes feeding her "for me"???
Men.
Even having help yesterday, I still feel like I spent nearly the whole day with her in arms. I ate dinner with her standing at my knee screaming. Finally, by bed time, she was overly tired and upset and wouldn't go to sleep so after 40 minutes of nursing a wide awake baby in bed, I started crying. (I desperately needed her to go to sleep so I could have some time to recharge *my* batteries.)
Then my husband started in with, "I'm sorry you don't enjoy her..." He continued by saying that all he hears is me complaining about her and he kept going until I was so mad I had to leave the bedroom before I committed homocide while nursing a 14 month old.
When I went back to bed, I couldn't speak to him, I was still so mad. He apologized and tried rubbing my back and being nice. I was seething. Then Edie (obviously picking up on all this) still wouldn't go to sleep and I hit the wall with nursing and took back my boob and refused to give it to her. She started screaming and flailing and so I just held her as closely as I could without completely restraining her and that went on for about 20 minutes.
Finally, exhausted, she started to have moments of breaks in her screaming where she almost looked like she was going to fall asleep, only to remember that she was screaming and would start again for a few minutes. Eventually, she calmed down and was lying down whimpering and I gave her my breast again. We all finally got to sleep sometime after midnight.
I didn't want him to go to work without us making up (ya know, what if he had a wreck or something and anger was the last thing we spoke to each other... anyway) even this morning, he wouldn't cut me much slack. He tried telling me that the "breaks" I get when he's home "watching" her while I try to pound out an email should count toward his "helping."
I'm sorry, but why is it that when *I* take care of her, its me being her mother, but when he "watches" her, its *helping*??? And am I honestly supposed to count the three minutes between interruptions when I then have to wrestle the keyboard away from the baby and it takes 20 minutes to write a 3 minute-long email as "me-time"???
AUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!
When she was between 4-6 months old, we had her in the routine of going to bed at 8pm and she actually slept until 10 or so when I officially came to bed. It still took me 30-60 minutes to get her asleep, but then, nearly every night, I had about an hour to an hour & a half where I could do whatever I wanted. I could just sit alone in my own space for a few minutes. Then we went camping and screwed up her routine and she's never gotten back into it. I'm getting NO time for myself, unless I cut it out of my sleep time (like now.)
I know that one of the 8 principles of Attachment Parenting is BALANCE. How do you get it with a high needs baby? How do you get it when you can't hardly ever get away?
Last night, one of us needed to go to the store. Edie was screaming and seemed like she was in pain (again, possibly teething) and I finally told Bill that I was NOT dragging the baby out when she obviously was not feeling well. He suggested I go and he'd stay home with her. I refused to leave and made him go. How can I relax when I'm gone, knowing she's here screaming and miserable? How can I not stay and offer her my breast and cuddle down in bed with her and give her comfort? Of course, she did fall asleep for just a few minutes which made the rest of the night worse... but how can I leave and have "me time" when she's upset? And since when does "me time" consist of running errands???
"I watched her while you cooked dinner!" Ya, once again... "me time" doesn't mean feeding the big people instead of the baby. "Me time" doesn't mean cleaning the house (although it could if it meant having time alone in my head while doing something that makes me feel good when its done... but you know what I mean.)
"Me time" for Bill is going fishing. He gets to LEAVE the HOUSE ALONE, knowing the baby is well cared for and has her comfort within reach. "Me time" for Bill doesn't include chores or errands or feeding other people. So, on what planet is he suggesting that I'm getting plenty of "me time" because he spent five minutes feeding her "for me"???
Men.
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