Water and gravity, together again.
Has it really been this long?
I guess, so. I've had a few people reminding me that I needed to blog so I am stealing some time while Edie's doing that "thing that will not be named."
She's been learning about water and gravity today.
This morning, she saw the cup she'd played with yesterday and pulled it off my nightstand, not realizing until too late that it had water in it. Poured it right down her body and onto the dog bed that's on the floor on my side of the bed. She screamed like it was acid. (She has issues with water... you should see her get a bath. I go as fast as I can, resulting in about a two minute scrubdown with her screeching the whole time.) Anyway, when I saw what happened, I got a towel and sopped up the dog bed and changed her clothes. Then, just about an hour ago, she was playing near the dog water and stepped in it. Second time this week. Nice cold water all over her feet... LOL Once again, we went to go change her socks. While I was there, I noticed that her little toenails needed trimming so I did that while she screamed and writhed around. But, I finished up with nursing and made the world right again.
She's now 14 months old. She's been walking since January 19 (her 11 month birthday) so she's gotten pretty good at it and now is as fast as we are when properly motivated. Of course, if I need her to move so I can get to the toilet before I pee my pants, she's slow as mollasses, but when we pick her up out of the dog food bowl and drop her off in the living room, she's right on our heels as we head back toward the kitchen. If you ask her what a dog says, she answers, "woof-oof-oof" and she can growl like a bear and meow like a kitty. She's so freak'n smart! And adorable. And hard work!
Things are getting better as she gets older and has more control over her world. However, she's still so demanding! She can be playing contentedly but the moment I sit down at the computer, she's at my knee screaming. We're still nursing constantly, but I suppose it is better than it used to be. We still also have sleep issues, which is my biggest bitch now. Last night I was up two hours past my bedtime and when we finally went to bed, we accidentally woke her up. She then kept me up for three more hours. I didn't know if I wanted to kill myself, or her. Of course, I'd never actually harm her, but I swear sometimes, if Satan himself showed up in my bedroom some nights, I'd seriously consider selling my soul for a really good night of sleep.
Its hard work being a mother. Its really hard work being her mother. But Goddess, she's so beautiful! I don't know sometimes. I think I'm starting to come out of the post-partum depression. I'm still not my best self nor the mother I wish I were all the time, but I am starting to feel better. Its a relief to not constantly be feeling like a waste of flesh.
Today, Edie had her first separation from me for more than an hour. In her whole life, well, since we got out of the hospital, I think I had been away from Edie probably about 15 hours. All together. This is about 10 trips the the store and a couple times visiting my sister when she was little-bitty and I desperately needed a break from the constant screaming that was her newbornhood. Today, I went to the metaphysical shop where I do readings and was gone for 2 1/2 hours. She stayed home with my mom and actually did pretty well, according to Nana. I was OK as long as I was doing readings. I am totally able to relax knowing she's with my mother, who was a great mom and is a wonderful grandma. However, I felt like I was missing an arm. While driving, I kept looking in the baby mirror and was repeatedly surprised to find the carseat empty. But I didn't call home... not once! (Of course, I had made sure mom knew the number to contact me.) But I didn't call. I just trusted that she was fine, and she was. It was like walking around with one of my arms, though.
Someone sent a poem around my email list while I was pregnant. One of the lines was, "before I was a mother, I didn't know what it was like walking around with my heart outside my body." Man, is that true. If anything happened to that little girl, I don't think I'd survive it.
So, I laugh at the wet dog bed and carpet near the pet food and remember not to let her play with cups that I may use later. And thank the Goddess for this madness that is life with my daughter.
I guess, so. I've had a few people reminding me that I needed to blog so I am stealing some time while Edie's doing that "thing that will not be named."
She's been learning about water and gravity today.
This morning, she saw the cup she'd played with yesterday and pulled it off my nightstand, not realizing until too late that it had water in it. Poured it right down her body and onto the dog bed that's on the floor on my side of the bed. She screamed like it was acid. (She has issues with water... you should see her get a bath. I go as fast as I can, resulting in about a two minute scrubdown with her screeching the whole time.) Anyway, when I saw what happened, I got a towel and sopped up the dog bed and changed her clothes. Then, just about an hour ago, she was playing near the dog water and stepped in it. Second time this week. Nice cold water all over her feet... LOL Once again, we went to go change her socks. While I was there, I noticed that her little toenails needed trimming so I did that while she screamed and writhed around. But, I finished up with nursing and made the world right again.
She's now 14 months old. She's been walking since January 19 (her 11 month birthday) so she's gotten pretty good at it and now is as fast as we are when properly motivated. Of course, if I need her to move so I can get to the toilet before I pee my pants, she's slow as mollasses, but when we pick her up out of the dog food bowl and drop her off in the living room, she's right on our heels as we head back toward the kitchen. If you ask her what a dog says, she answers, "woof-oof-oof" and she can growl like a bear and meow like a kitty. She's so freak'n smart! And adorable. And hard work!
Things are getting better as she gets older and has more control over her world. However, she's still so demanding! She can be playing contentedly but the moment I sit down at the computer, she's at my knee screaming. We're still nursing constantly, but I suppose it is better than it used to be. We still also have sleep issues, which is my biggest bitch now. Last night I was up two hours past my bedtime and when we finally went to bed, we accidentally woke her up. She then kept me up for three more hours. I didn't know if I wanted to kill myself, or her. Of course, I'd never actually harm her, but I swear sometimes, if Satan himself showed up in my bedroom some nights, I'd seriously consider selling my soul for a really good night of sleep.
Its hard work being a mother. Its really hard work being her mother. But Goddess, she's so beautiful! I don't know sometimes. I think I'm starting to come out of the post-partum depression. I'm still not my best self nor the mother I wish I were all the time, but I am starting to feel better. Its a relief to not constantly be feeling like a waste of flesh.
Today, Edie had her first separation from me for more than an hour. In her whole life, well, since we got out of the hospital, I think I had been away from Edie probably about 15 hours. All together. This is about 10 trips the the store and a couple times visiting my sister when she was little-bitty and I desperately needed a break from the constant screaming that was her newbornhood. Today, I went to the metaphysical shop where I do readings and was gone for 2 1/2 hours. She stayed home with my mom and actually did pretty well, according to Nana. I was OK as long as I was doing readings. I am totally able to relax knowing she's with my mother, who was a great mom and is a wonderful grandma. However, I felt like I was missing an arm. While driving, I kept looking in the baby mirror and was repeatedly surprised to find the carseat empty. But I didn't call home... not once! (Of course, I had made sure mom knew the number to contact me.) But I didn't call. I just trusted that she was fine, and she was. It was like walking around with one of my arms, though.
Someone sent a poem around my email list while I was pregnant. One of the lines was, "before I was a mother, I didn't know what it was like walking around with my heart outside my body." Man, is that true. If anything happened to that little girl, I don't think I'd survive it.
So, I laugh at the wet dog bed and carpet near the pet food and remember not to let her play with cups that I may use later. And thank the Goddess for this madness that is life with my daughter.
1 Comments:
At April 25, 2005 at 7:36 AM,
Yvette said…
Sorry about the other night. My computer froze up when I tried to go to the website you listed. I did see your and E's picture. I was right. She is beautiful. She looks like you. Bella doesn't care for water either. I figure it is because she is a fire sign, the same as me. I am not crazy about water. :) Seriously though, I appreciate you listening to my story. I needed to tell it for some reason. I'm glad you "survived" your separation. I have only allowed Bella to go to grandma's for a few hours with the exception of while I am gone to work. It would be so much easier to go grocery shopping without her but I am like you. It feels like I am missing something. After she was born and we went to the store together the first time I remember thinking, "I'll NEVER be alone again" and then I thought, "I'll never be ALONE again. What a marvelous thought. I hope every day that I can be a good parent. So good to talk to you and I hope to again.
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